Sunday, July 20, 2014

Why do "we" get more done when we're not "home"?

At first I thought it was because I had nothing pressing to do. For example... I'm kind of on vacation right now in a town I've never visited before. I thought that's why. Here I am, making time to do something that normally I wouldn't have the time to do because I'd be working on one of my other projects or maybe going out, hanging out with friends, exercising - any of the many things I am wont to do. Sitting all day yesterday in a coffee shop, sipping tea and writing was my dream come true, truly. But why can't I take that with me back home? Actually I can. It's just going to look differently. It's going to look like something I've scheduled myself to do on my calendar and not have the spontaneous "excitement" of yesterday.

As the woman I'm staying with here in Austin, Michele pointed out - I also don't have my household life yelling at me to do the laundry, the dishes, cook, clean, nap... whatever it is. And that's true too. Here I have nothing but time, for this moment.

Traveling makes me appreciate things more. I appreciate "home" more, my belongings, my friends, my boyfriend, my house, my car, my dog... but WHILE I'm traveling and staying in the present moment my biggest appreciation is time, having time. I am the person who has traveled to Hawaii for 10 days with nothing more on my agenda than to sit on a different beach every single day and read a book. I'm happy to say I was able to accomplish that at one time. Life doesn't seem to follow me when I'm away. It's as though life has taken a hiatus or remains elsewhere in suspended animation for me to pick up and put back on when I go home.

Plus there are the discoveries. Self discovery, how I don't "need" the creature comforts I'm used to when I'm home. How suddenly "less is more" and I'm happy with a simple bowl of yogurt for breakfast or not showering every single day or sitting outside with mosquitos. There's also the discovery of something new. New conversations, ideas, places and experiences that I could not have or don't have when I'm home caught in my "rut". And I say rut with love because I do love my life (for the most part) and I know how lucky I am - even when things are tough.

This is my first vacation in a year and I feel long overdue. I needed to regenerate, doing absolutely nothing, even if only for a few days.


Saturday, July 19, 2014

RWA Post 1

I’m in Austin Texas getting ready for my first RWA (RomanceWriters of America) conference. I’m so excited I could jump up and down screaming and I very may well do just that… at some point on my trip anyway. I’ve never been to Austin. It’s been on my bucket list. As a matter-of-fact I seriously considered moving here about 5 years ago which is pretty crazy, even for me. Moving somewhere I’d never even visited. Still, you know when you’ll like something or someone just from what other people you admire have told you about it or them?  My first concern when I was thinking of leaving California was to move someplace warm, that’s always been very important to me. And warm Austin IS. It’s also hip and fun and filled with myriads of nice people. OK I’ll admit I haven’t even been here for 24 hours yet BUT I like it! I like being able to sit outside at a local coffeeshop, drink tea and write on my laptop for hours. Why can’t/don’t I do that at home, except on Tuesdays when I meet my weekly writer’s group? Probably because I run a business that has nothing to do with writing. And I’m just not sure my heart is in it anymore.

Sitting here with nothing but time on my hands, I am reading the RWA monthly magazines cover to cover. Something I also don’t “make” time for at home and I fell in love with “The Big Picture: Sustaining Your Career for the Long Haul” by Donna Alward. In the article she talks about knowing when you’re not happy doing what you’re doing and quotes Kieran Kramer saying that she is “willing to walk away from any situation that leaches her happiness”. I love that! So powerful. Donna also points out that once we’ve accomplished a goal we’ve set for ourselves it’s healthy human nature to then set another goal and another… Well I’ve accomplished a goal – to get my Masters degree, my CA acupuncture license and open up a large acupuncture clinic with employees and products. And now… I’m no longer happy doing it. I have to really look at this. Is it the chasing, the striving, the trying, the working that I’m addicted to? And once I’ve achieved my goal I’m bored? I don’t think so. I think it was a much bigger “project” than I ever imagined. And now with a huge overhead and 5 employees, a ton of responsibility I can’t walk away from and a slew of patients – I’m miserable.


Would I be happier being a full time writer like I want to believe? Maybe, maybe not… but I’m not the kind of person who can ever be stagnant. I almost always have 3 irons in the fire. I’m giving my clinic another year and moving forward with my writing. I’m asking for guidance and feeling positive that everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to – for the best. RWA2014 here I come J