RWA Post 1

I’m in Austin Texas getting ready for my first RWA (RomanceWriters of America) conference. I’m so excited I could jump up and down screaming and I very may well do just that… at some point on my trip anyway. I’ve never been to Austin. It’s been on my bucket list. As a matter-of-fact I seriously considered moving here about 5 years ago which is pretty crazy, even for me. Moving somewhere I’d never even visited. Still, you know when you’ll like something or someone just from what other people you admire have told you about it or them?  My first concern when I was thinking of leaving California was to move someplace warm, that’s always been very important to me. And warm Austin IS. It’s also hip and fun and filled with myriads of nice people. OK I’ll admit I haven’t even been here for 24 hours yet BUT I like it! I like being able to sit outside at a local coffeeshop, drink tea and write on my laptop for hours. Why can’t/don’t I do that at home, except on Tuesdays when I meet my weekly writer’s group? Probably because I run a business that has nothing to do with writing. And I’m just not sure my heart is in it anymore.

Sitting here with nothing but time on my hands, I am reading the RWA monthly magazines cover to cover. Something I also don’t “make” time for at home and I fell in love with “The Big Picture: Sustaining Your Career for the Long Haul” by Donna Alward. In the article she talks about knowing when you’re not happy doing what you’re doing and quotes Kieran Kramer saying that she is “willing to walk away from any situation that leaches her happiness”. I love that! So powerful. Donna also points out that once we’ve accomplished a goal we’ve set for ourselves it’s healthy human nature to then set another goal and another… Well I’ve accomplished a goal – to get my Masters degree, my CA acupuncture license and open up a large acupuncture clinic with employees and products. And now… I’m no longer happy doing it. I have to really look at this. Is it the chasing, the striving, the trying, the working that I’m addicted to? And once I’ve achieved my goal I’m bored? I don’t think so. I think it was a much bigger “project” than I ever imagined. And now with a huge overhead and 5 employees, a ton of responsibility I can’t walk away from and a slew of patients – I’m miserable.

Would I be happier being a full time writer like I want to believe? Maybe, maybe not… but I’m not the kind of person who can ever be stagnant. I almost always have 3 irons in the fire. I’m giving my clinic another year and moving forward with my writing. I’m asking for guidance and feeling positive that everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to – for the best. RWA2014 here I come J