You’ve probably heard utterances of “writing is a lonely
job”. I’m here to tell you – it doesn’t have to be.
We’ve all heard of writing groups. Where writer’s meet to
either write together or critique what they or others have written. What I’d
like to argue is that you don’t have to find “the perfect group”. That’s right,
any group will do. No matter what genre the other folks write, no matter the
type of people they are and no matter whether they approve or are supportive of
what you write or not.
“How can that even work?” you demand. Simple. It’s not the
personalities it’s the process. When I started meeting with writer’s groups I
would proudly state that I was a romance writer only to be met with criticism
and judgment. At first I got bogged down with the details, I felt less-than and
even disrespected by some of my writing peers. In the end what I found out is
that doesn’t matter. I’m not in a writing group to make friends necessarily,
though that has definitely happened because no matter what, there are good
people in the world and like attracts like. What I came to know is true for me
is that I’m in writing groups to write. The impetus of one or more other writer
sitting down and “just writing” without talking to one another or engaging in
other distractions is a very powerful time. 
The first group I joined was one you can probably find on meetup.com in your area. In some areas it’s
called “Shut up and Write” and in our area it’s “Just Write”. Regardless of the
name, the concept is simple… You arrive at the designated time, introduce
yourself to the group and say a sentence or two about what you’re working on.
You are not required to say anything you don’t want to. Meaning if you want to
reveal your genre you can, otherwise you can just say you’re working on x, y
and z. An example would be: “Hello I’m Raina and today I’m working on a scene
in Chapter 4 of my third novel.” If someone asks what it’s about I can politely
tell them it’s fiction as opposed to saying it’s a paranormal romance. What I
learned the hard way is that some people do judge so if you’re a sensitive type,
keep it to yourself. 
Another thing that I learned the hard way was when one
writer asked me in my “Just Write” group if we could critique each other’s
work. I had never done that before and I didn’t realize that 1. It was a set-up
and 2. That was not the right venue for such a bold foray into the unknown. I trepidatiously
agreed, I should always follow my intuition. I had my coveted and closeted
writing torn to bloody shreds in front of my eyes. The person whose work I
critiqued explained how I knew nothing about critiquing and told me they would
not be taking any of my (implied) crappy suggestions. Sometimes people need to
make others feel badly in order to make themselves feel better. I took this as a
fantastic learning experience and have since found two different critique
partners that I trust who are kind and helpful. And all WE do is critique each
other’s work, we don’t get together and write.As for the writing -- I now have three different writing groups and I love them all for different reasons but mostly I love that they enable me to sit quietly and write with a group of people for a set amount of time. There’s something purely magical and persuasive about that. Sometimes I get more written in an hour with a group of other writers than I get written in a day at home. Fewer distractions and focused concentration. Maybe there’s a little bit of healthy competition too!
