Are you ready to take the lottery challenge?

The most ridiculous, yet true epiphany I had shortly before I wrote the first draft of my novel in a month was, “if you don’t play the lotto you won’t win.” Simple, true and everyone knows it. I’ve always known that and still I don’t play the lotto and probably never will. That’s not why that simple statement came to me though. It was about my 1^st novel, Exquisite Destiny. I started writing Exquisite Destiny about 15 years ago, yes you read that correctly. FIFTEEN YEARS AGO, more or less, give or take a year or two.

I was a different person back then, completely different. The only thing that remains the same is that I look relatively un-aged (thanks to cosmetic surgery – just kidding! Thanks to good eating and even better genes).

The first thing that happened was that I birthed the character. From the “Artist’s Way” book given to me by my still amazingly close friend Max I began writing morning pages. Morning pages is an assignment in the book where you write either 3 (I think it was 3) pages or you write for an allotted period of time, 10 minutes maybe, I can’t quite remember now – it WAS a long time ago. Regardless, my character Lizzy was born. And once I gave birth to the character she needed a venue.

Her playground was hammered out in my then office/closet. I wrote like a fiend for a month, maybe two. I had a full time job then too so I wrote whenever I could and though I don’t remember for sure I think I probably managed a few pages a day. At some point I had 50 pages and I thought they were good. I really did. My then husband (exh) wanted to read them as did a couple of friends so I started on the rewrites, without ever finishing the first draft. I re-wrote for another month or so. Ecstatic to get everyone’s opinion and not knowing the “rules” which consist partially of DON’T LET YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS READ YOUR WRITING, especially if you’re unpublished and have an easily crushable ego. So I did what any other eager young writer does – I printed out my pages and I handed them to my exh, who by the way doesn’t actually have a name, and 2 of my closest friends. I sat and waited with baited breath.

When the jury came back it looked something like this…. My exh hated it and thought I should shred the entire thing immediately. My “best friend” at the time, who it turns out was actually my exh’s best friend said “it’s ok.” But my other friend, oh Liisa thank you for believing in me! She LOVED IT!!! She ranted and raved and said these words, “please keep writing because I want to know what happens next, I couldn’t put it down.” Why didn’t I listen to the sage Goddess and her knowledgable advice? After all her husband is a professional writer, she would know!!!

But no, my ego was fragile and my exh’s demeaning opinion mattered to me. Still I sent out the first 3 chapters to an agent and got turned down and that was it. I gave up. Looking back, the agent’s letter was really nice and open ended but I didn’t realize that then. Sadly what happened was I put my stock and belief in the jealousy and control issues of another and I stopped working on my novel – for 15 years.

Why is this a blog topic? It will hopefully inspire others not to listen to naysayers, not to put their dreams on hold but instead to move forward with them. And don’t show your first time novel to friends and family, unless they are 100% supportive. I have a current critique partner who runs her writing by her husband and he is nothing but supportive. It can happen but often times it doesn’t and when it doesn’t, the results can be catastrophic.

If you don’t play the lotto you can’t win. If you don’t write on your novel consistently you’ll never finish it. If you don’t practice your sport of choice you’ll never be good at it. If you don’t play your instrument regularly you won’t get better. If you don’t speak the foreign language you’ve been trying to learn you’ll never learn it. Simple, very simple and we all know it but knowing it and doing it are what separates the doers from the dreamers. Are you ready to take the lottery challenge?

NaNoWriMo

Thanks to NaNoWriMo (National November Writer's Month) I wrote my novel in a month! And since I wrote, scrapped, rewrote and scrapped again I really did have to start from scratch.

I do realize NaNo did not write my novel for me but because of NaNo I did it! Finally, it's done - well it's not really done yet but the first draft is in the can. Do I look different? Not really. Do I feel different? Most definitely! I feel accomplished. I feel like I can do anything now, even bungie jump if I so choose.

In October I had never heard of NaNo but all of my complaining was finally heard and two women in particular told me of the challenge and I boldly accepted. Actually they pretty much made me promise I'd try and made me promise to stop complaining.

Locking myself in the house for the month - not at all - I hammered out 50,000 words. The truth of the matter is that I went on with my full life. I worked full time (overtime actually), I kept up with my insane exercise routine, I saw my friends, I walked my dog.... Where then did I eek out that extra 2 hours a day that I didn't have before NaNo? At night when I got home from my long, tired, busy days.

I am up at 6am (or 7am) and out of the house by 8:30am to return at 10 or 11pm - most days of the week. When I got home I sat down and cranked out 2,000 words. What did I used to do when I got home? Watch TV shows I love, read, play with the pets, cook. I gave my nights up for the month of November and all I did was write.

There was a fun writing group formed that met at the local coffee shop one night a week where a guy named Ken stood over me my first night in attendance (without my knowledge) and then I heard his voice "what are you doing?" I looked up from google, confused. "I'm researching." He shook his head, "you can do that later, after NaNo, after November. In November all you do is write. If you don't know how to describe something you write 'describe place here' and move on." Thank you Ken. I honestly don't think I would have finished the 50,000 words if you hadn't told me that and then looked over my shoulder occasionally to make sure I was "just writing".

Is it finished and ready to be published? Not yet. I have a critique partner or two, I have a massive support group, I've moved on to my next book and soon - the rewrites will begin. Rewriting and editing and more of the same. Call me crazy but I love that part!

Why Aren't I Writing?

I've been so inundated with starting a new business that I haven't been able to write. I've "put it aside" for now. I've been told this is not a good idea. I've been told that even if I write for 5 minutes a day, that is better than not at all. I've been told it's a habit you must form. And I believe all of that, I really do!

My "problem" is that I can't just write for 5 minutes. I pick up where I left off in my novel and I get involved with the characters. I do research, I find that something I'm writing does not support something I wrote 10 pages earlier or I forget what I wrote 10 pages earlier!

So right now I'm focusing on my new biz. And I'm reading. I'm reading a friend's novel - before it's published, which is really great! Not only is the novel itself great but it's great that she asked me to read it because she values my opinion AND it's great for motivation!

I don't have to finish my novel tomorrow. I will finish it at some point in the not too distant future because that's the most important thing - to finish. I learned that when I used to write screenplays. Make sure you finish. Starting is the easy part. And of course I already have ideas for my next 2 novels and will admit I did start one of those - but very briefly! Another "rule" -- don't start the next one until you finish the first one!

One thing about the way I write that may not be the same as other people is that I get it all down first and then I edit (rewrite and rewrite and rewrite again). I used to worry about this until I heard Anne Lamott speak about her worst fear being that she would die after a first draft of a book was written and everyone would think she was a horrible writer. Her writing she admitted was in her rewrites. Or - her brilliance, as I like to think of it. I'm the same way. I get it all down and it sounds like it was written by a 5 year old. Then I rewrite over and over and with each rewrite my writing IQ goes up. Luckily it's not that way for me with non-fiction - blogging and such - only with fiction.

According to Anne Lamott it's best to get through your complete first draft before rewriting or you may never finish. When I first started this novel over 10 years ago and it was a very different novel back then - I re-wrote the first 50 pages ad nauseum. And they were good but the next 50 pages were awful. And the problem was that I didn't work on finishing the book, I worked on the rewrites. So this time I'm not rewriting until I'm done and I'll be honest, it's really difficult for me and looking back on what I've written is almost painful!! It's that bad!!!

So here I am, close to a month into my new business and close to a month of not working on my novel. It helps to tell on myself!!